Revisionist History

I am finding myself applying the theory of revisionist history after my runs. It might be a stretch to use that term, but it is the closest I can get.

Example:

Today was a 5 miler. I have a route that I think I know the mileage for. Start at the school, go down to Elvin's, turn around and back to the school is 4 miles. I also know that the loop in front of the school (it's circular driveway really) is .2 miles. So, I figure 5 loops then to Elvin's and back will be my 5 miles.

I have never run all the way to Elvin's. I did run partially to Elvin's on Monday and turned around, as Monday was just a 3 miler.

I got to the school and the Slavic Man is walking his dog. As an aside, he now greets me with a big smile and a loud "Good Morning" (mission accomplished there). So, I decide not to do the 5 loops then, as he is walking his dog and I prefer not to interfere with that, so I do 2 laps and head off toward Elvin's.

This road has many more hills than my previous route. I want to train on hills, so that is a good thing. I am tooling along, thinking I am doing fine, hills are good, breathe, doing fine, blah, blah, blah.

My mind is supportive it is all good...... until.......

I get to Elvin's and I look at my Nike SportBand. In my head, I know it should say 2.4 miles. It doesn't. It says 2.59. My mind goes nutso!

"My SportsBand is off - it has been off for a long time"

"I am not running the miles I think I am."

"I am not running the speed I think I am."

"I am screwed!"

"This is horrible"

"Oh NO!"

I turn around at Elvin's and head back. I go by The Rec Center and the town guys are just getting to work and I swear they are sneering at me. I come around the corner and start up the first hill and my little mind says "You can't do this." I give in and I walk it.

My mind is bitching and whining and complaining the whole way back to the school. I know I have to do an additional .6 miles and I know my SportsBand has to say at least 5.4 for it to be a real 5 miles.

Stoopid Nike SportsBand

I take a little detour and go up a short road and back down, get to the school and my Slavic Friend and his dog is gone, but a man is there painting the lines for the parking spots. I can't even tell he has started and I run on some of his lines. I do 2 loops of the driveway. My Nike SportsBand says I covered 5.46 miles. Okay, so I am pretty sure I got my 5 miles in.

I cool down, stretch and get in my car. I now have to recalibrate my SportsBand, so I zero my odometer and drive the routs I jut ran. I only did the driveway once, and knew to add .6 to the total at the end.

When I got back to the entrance to the school, my odometer said 4.9 - plus the .6 equals 5.5.

Son of a Gun!

I get home and set up the ice bath for my feet and plunge them into the ice cold water.

My little mind says:

"That was a great run."

I am a history revisionist.

5.46 miles

49:33 minutes

9'04"/miles