Sometimes I just over step my boundaries and I did it again. I always think I am doing the right thing and sometimes, it really is none of my business.
In late May, Victoria (my sister-in-law) suggested that we make a family calendar indicating when each of us would travel to Sun City Center to give my dad some respite. I took all of the dates and put them on a calendar and distributed them amongst us kids.
Being the anal/control freak that I am, I know the dates.
Michelle told me a while back that Kyle was planning to go to his grandparents in late July, early August. I contacted Kyle to see if that was going to happen - mistake # 1, I said nothing to him about the calendar.
He said he was pretty busy and didn't think he could get away before he and his bride go on their belated honeymoon at the end of August. He mentioned something about October, which seemed like a great time, as I will be there for the bulk of September.
Yesterday afternoon, I get an e-mail from Kyle saying he is going during the same time Gussie and Victoria are going.
Mistake # 2 - I call Kyle and tell him that Gussie and Victoria will be there then.
Mistake # 3 - I tell Kyle not to go.
Mistake # 4 - I tell Kyle my mom will not do well with all of the 'turmoil' and 'happenings' that 3 additional people will bring.
Mistake # 5 - I didn't ask Kyle to make his own decision and I didn't ask Kyle to not tell my dad what I said.
Mistake # 6 - Kyle told my dad exactly what I said
Mistake # 7 - My dad told my mom.
She was pissed. Hopefully she will have no memory of being pissed at me - but my dad will have a memory of it.
I am in the shithouse and it is my fault. Not sure what decision I will make from this and I am sure I will make one.
I am mulling over what I will never, ever do again.
It's hard to know when we are helping and when we are overmanaging, especially for those who are "competent." My new project is putting things into categories of things I should fix, things I could fix, things I should not fix. There are a lot of things in that last batch, that either don't need fixing or I am not the one to be doing the fixing.
ReplyDeleteThe world will continue to spin even if stuff isn't at its most efficient, and sometimes people can handle more aggravation than I want to protect them from. But the sorting out ahead of time is the hardest part.