One of the things that has come out of me doing this marathon (in order to raise money for Alzheimer's research and education) is the drastic increase in the number of people I have told that my mom suffers from this disease. I have also been able to be comfortable in sharing how that affects us, without having people want to run away. I think that is because I am not sharing so that they feel sorry for me, or because I feel sorry for myself. I am sharing to shine a light on what it is really like.
My mom woke up in the middle of the night and told my dad that they should pay those people some money. He asked what people and she said the people that are letting them stay there. She had no idea this was there home.
At least twice a week, my mom wants to know where 'the little one' went. We are usually in their living room or their car when she asks. She is terribly panicked when she asks. There has been no little one in their home or in their car in 10 years.
We went shopping to buy her new shorts and my dad some as well. We went into the dressing room three times to find the right style and fit for her and ended up with 3 pair. Then we went to the men's department to find some for my dad. He was not with us. She asked me 5 times why we were in the men's department. Each time, I told her to get shorts for daddy. Each time she followed that up with "Where is he?" while looking around the department. We found him shorts and headed off to the check-out. As we were standing on line, she lamented "How come I go on all of these shopping trips and never find anything for me?"
After getting the above mentioned shorts home, she has not worn them and continues to have no idea she has them, even after having them shown to her in her closet.
Each evening, I tell my mom what is going on with my training. She is surprised that I am running a marathon and always asks what I am raising money for.
Her latest 'go to' phrases (meaning ones she says often):
"See that, your mother is no longer worthless."
"That is stupid."
"I feel blah."
"Those people are stupid."
"What day is today?"
"No one told me."
"Why?"
"How come no one told me?"
"I don't remember."
The marathon is a great "excuse" to talk about Alzheimer's. Though I sometimes feel like a whiner or something when I talk about how crappy it is to have a loved one with Alzheimer's. But it IS crappy! Mostly, I hugged my Grandma over and over as much as I could.
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