A Third First

I think that might be the name of a bank, but that is not what I mean.

Way earlier in this blog, I spoke about 'firsts'. My first first was being bitten by the dog, my second first was falling during my run. My third first happened yesterday.

I wanted to smack a doctor. If he'd been my doctor, his ass woulda been fired. He is my mom's GP, so I was the epitome of restraint.

I had asked that my mom's thyroid levels be checked last week. She has been sleeping for 10 hours each night and napping in her chair for at least 4 hours (total, over the day). She has been on a thyroid drug for some time, so I thought maybe she needed an adjustment. I was also concerned about her difficulty swallowing, raspiness in her voice that has not gone away and a sudden and permanent decrease in the volume of her speaking voice.

They drew her blood last week and yesterday we had the appointment with the doctor.

A few years back, my mom and dad had appointments with two different doctors in this practice at the same time. Mom went to hers and dad went to his and then met in the waiting room afterward. When dad asked mom about what the doctor said, it became apparent that mom did not 'tell the truth' and the issue was not discussed. At that point, dad had them note on her chart that she has 'dementia' and to not see her by herself. I knew this, so I knew mom's condition was noted.

So, this is a new doctor, in the same practice. I met him when I went with my dad last week. My parents now share a doctor. This is mom's second visit with him, my first with the two of them.

We handle that mom's thyroid count is good and that she should see a ENT specialist. I decline to have her have a sleep study. Mom is lively and funny and engaged - although not telling 'the truth'. She changed her story several times - she never naps during the day - her raspiness has been for 'a while' and then just started yesterday - at the same time, she appears to be engaged and 'getting' stuff the doctor is saying.

Then:

Him: I see a note that she has dementia. Where did this diagnosis come from?

Me: USF - She has been seen there for 5 years.

Him: Look, memory issues happen. There is forgetting where your car keys are and forgetting what your car keys are for.

Me: She has Alzheimer's.

Him: How do you know?

Me: She displays all of the classic symptoms and she has been diagnosed by two doctors at USF.

Him: I can't believe that - she is making eye contact, she is engaged and answering my questions and getting my references.

Me: I know

Him: What symptoms does she have?

Me: This afternoon, she will not remember being here.

Him: How could she forget me?

My friend Judy has this phrase the "White Hot Glare of Righteousness". That is what I gave that man. I wanted to smack him and at the same time, I did not want to further upset my mom.

I let the glare complete the conversation.

The appointment ended, we got an appointment with the ENT doctor.

At around 3:00PM, my mom asked me what the date was. I told her (for the 5th time that day). She waited a minute and said "the board says I had a doctor's appointment at 10:45 this morning. I don't remember going. Did I go?"

I told her she did and how the doctor loved her and wanted to come home with her and loved her cheekbones and so on - all the truth. I left out the part where I wanted to smack him.