Things I Am Confronting

To steal a line from Oprah, there are "things I know for sure". One of those things is that when I take on something "really big", I will smack into areas where I can grow. Many times, in order for me to grow, I have to confront where I have played small, been a wimp or whiny or just plain don't want to.

I was talking to Yvette yesterday. I speak to her every week. I think I am open and vulnerable with her. However, I have never told her that my mom has Alzheimer's. I have not asked her to contribute to "the marathon fund". I had her feeling left out.

I am confronting what stops me from being bold when asking people if they would like to contribute to the cause my family has taken on. I see that I tell people I am running in the marathon. I tell people I am running and promise to raise $10,000 for Alzheimer's research. I hope they will offer to contribute. I was not asking straight out. I am afraid and paralyzed by the fear of rejection.

Another thing I know for sure - when I speak something in a present tense, it reinforces whatever I just said - I said "I am afraid and paralyzed by the fear of rejection." Make that "I was afraid and paralyzed by the fear of rejection."

Yvette also told me that people want to be on a winning team. I get that. Who I am is an invitation to join our winning team.