It's Mother's Day

I've come a long way since Mother's Day last year. Mostly, I cried all day long last year. Mostly I felt sorry for myself and sorry for my mom and sorry for our entire family. Mostly I was mourning the loss of the mom I knew. Alzheimer's can do that to families, I hear.

This year, I am remembering and honoring what my mom taught me and the role model she is for me and for who I know her to be.

- Getting what you want while having others have what they want and need as well (I tried to figure out a shorter way to say that and I couldn't) - My brother was finally off the school. My mom was bored. She said that if she had to sit around and listen to her neighbor lady friends for one more coffee klatch, she would blow a gasket. She told me dad she wanted to get a job, just something to get out of the house and to tell her friends a reason for not joining their gossipfest. My dad threw a fit. My mom's job was to be home for and with us four kids. She persisted until he threw down the rules - she had to be home when the last kid got on the bus and the first kid got off. She had to be home on school vacations and snow days. She had to be home all summer, and any other time a kid was home. My mom figured it out. She was the cashier lunch lady at our elementary school. She was happy, my dad got what he wanted and us four were always taken care of.

- Being a full partner - My mom never really worked until I was in high school. My dad was the breadwinner and when we were very young, worked more overtime than anyone wants to remember. My dad made the money and my mom did everything else. My mom showed me that the amount of money you bring into the household has nothing - I mean NO thing - to do with the partnership. It was always their money. Not his money because he earned it. This lesson has served me well in all of my partnerships - both personal and business.

- Expressing thanks - I think I was 5 years old and got invited to a friends birthday party. My mom came to pick me up and as I got in the car with my goodie bag, she asked if I had fun. I said yes. She then asked if I thanked my friend's mom for the party, I said no. She told me to get out of the car and go find her and thank her. I did. I was on the stairs from their basement to the kitchen and her mom was in the doorway. I said "My mom says I have to thank you for the party - so thank you." God bless this mom, she said "You are very welcome, Lynn. Your mom is teaching you well. Maybe next time you will thank someone because you want to, not because your mom tells you to." She said it with no attitude or 'make wrong' and my 5 year old brain got this thing about being thankful and expressing it.

- Asking the hard questions - My brother was a catcher - he was pretty good in little league and tried out for the All-Star team and did not make it the first year. I remember hearing my mom and dad speculate about the reasons. It didn't take long for my mom to get on the phone to the coach and ask the hard question "What does Gussie need to work on so he makes the team next year?" I was well into my teens by then and fully expected the question to be "Why didn't he make the team?" I learned so much from watching that.

There is so much more my mom gave me. This journey with her now becoming someone else does not diminish what she taught me. She now gets to teach me how to love her and support her and be with her as she is today - which will be different than who she is tomorrow. It is kinda cool to not be able to predict what she will do or say.